Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking - With Grace
According to Forbes magazine, people’s number one fear is public speaking. The second? Death. Grim, right?
But I like to believe there’s a much gentler way to overcome both. For today, though, let’s just have a chat about public speaking — and how you can begin to overcome the fear of it with grace.
Making Fear Small
Overcoming the fear of public speaking is about making that fear feel eensy weensy small. And here’s the key to squashing it: you’ve got to do the very thing you’re afraid of — again and again.
The first step? Find a safe space to learn and practice. You need to face the fear in real time. That means pushing through the discomfort, the vulnerability, and rewriting your brain’s script — replacing fear with success.
It really is that simple. To overcome the fear of public speaking, you’ve got to get out there.
My First Public Speaking Experience
I still remember my first formal public speaking event. I was twelve, and in our rural 4-H community, it was a requirement to participate.
I was terrified.
I did it anyway.
And — I won.
Looking back, I’m so grateful for that experience. I learned foundational skills early on: how to make eye contact, how to create presence through body language, and how to structure a talk. Even though I wasn’t a very confident person at the time, I learned to “fake it till you make it.” And now, in my forties, my real confidence has finally caught up.
Public Speaking is Just Storytelling
After 20 years of public speaking, I’ve learned to genuinely enjoy sharing knowledge with others in a group setting. Because that’s all public speaking really is — storytelling with purpose.
Interacting with an audience can be deeply rewarding when you’re speaking about something meaningful. That’s one of the most important tips I can offer:
Speak about something you care about.
When you do, you’ll never be at a loss for words, even if there’s a hiccup in your presentation. This is why I created Power Hour, a class designed to help people work through their fear of presenting — in a safe, supportive environment.
Creating Presence: Body Language Tips
Actors are great at body language — but we’re not here to act. We’re here to be genuine. Still, body language plays a huge role in how we’re received.
In the beginning, finding a relaxed body posture can feel so hard. It might feel like every eye is on you. Your fight-or-flight kicks in, and suddenly you’re stuffing your hands into pockets, crossing your arms, or hiding behind a podium.
That’s normal.
But this is where practice makes all the difference. The key is receiving kind feedback — not criticism — so you can build awareness and make gentle adjustments over time.
Ditch the “Politician Hands”
We’ve all seen those overly choreographed hand gestures some speakers use — and they can feel inauthentic. Our brains even pick up on it: “Hmm... I don’t trust this person.”
Instead, I recommend a gentler body posture:
Stand with your feet slightly apart
Keep your hands relaxed and open
Avoid stuffing your hands in your pockets or using aggressive gestures
Smile occasionally — unless the topic is somber
Your goal isn’t to perform, but to connect. You want to bring the audience along with you.
Your Real Self is the Best Speaker
The goal isn’t just to overcome fear — it’s to become so at ease with yourself that speaking in public feels natural. That’s when the real you shines through.
And that’s when it becomes fun.
Be kind and merciful with yourself during the process. Don’t mentally beat yourself up when you stumble. Instead, try a new inner dialogue:
“That was so great — keep trying.”
“You did better than last time — wow!”
That kind of self-talk is powerful. It can literally rewire your brain and change how you show up in the world.
Final Thoughts
Fear wants to convince you that you’re not good enough. That you’ve failed before you even began.
But that’s a lie.
You are enough. And you will do great — I promise.
Some of our biggest breakthroughs happen when we simply keep showing up. So don’t give up on the process... or the joy that can come from it.
Happy public speaking.
If this resonated with you, I’d love to know — feel free to send me a message or share this with someone who needs it today.